My sister loves stalking vloggers. She relentlessly sends me videos of girls with squeaky voices and bouncy hair showing off either their handmade eco vegan gluten-free lipstick, or their trip to Alaska and the magical adventures they experienced there like: feed a bear from their hand, meet a handsome squared jaw lumberjack who proposed marriage, danced with freaking wolves, drank wine while admiring the aurora lights. UGH! So..........since my sis won't stop sending me all these videos of perfect people with perfect lives and voices like the door hinge needs greasing, I thought I'd do a rant about them, since I got nothing better to do anyway, at least not until noon when I have to get nourishment or I'll die.
So...what's up with all those perfect people on the internet? I've seen perfect bloggers and vloggers, who's mere existence makes me feel like I must be doing something seriously wrong with my life. Their perfection is so in your face and surreal, you know it's damn real. You know this person actually looks like an underwear model behind the camera, and I bet they never get their elbows stained with barbeque sauce while eating ribs!
My favorite videos are the night routine ones! Oh boy, where do I start with those! The typical "read a book and made the bed" casual night routines are the thing of the past. A night routine must consist of meditation, candles, preparing a gourmet dish with truffles and duck liver, spa procedures in the jacuzzi, dancing or having a profound talk with the boyfriend, or doing anything other than just vegetate with the boyfriend, and FINALLY bed! Phew! You know what my night routine is?...Give cat food, cover body with blanket, immense TV or Playstation.... Sometimes I'm too tired or lazy to brush my teeth!
Do perfect people own at least one pair of stinky sneakers? ONE PAIR? Do they always smell of lavender and peace? I have two pairs of cheap sneakers that would stank up your sole existence, it's just the way the cookie crumbles! I'm not even gonna pretend that those sneakers I bought from a suspiciously looking dodgy stall, from an even more suspiciously looking gentlemen, don't disintegrate and release a whiff of cheap fabric aroma. Not gonna happen!
Some of you might say "You're just jealous!", well I'm gonna say to them in return: "You know nothing John Snow, so shut up!" Perhaps I'm jealous of their smooth skin and perfect hair, but other than that, I'm just here to rant and wonder, what are these perfect human beings? How did they arrive here? Are they aliens? History Channel should really have a thorough investigation into this matter. How is it possible for a person to have bouncy hair AND perfectly round boobs? It's unfair I say!
Any who, I hope my sister reads this rant and finally stop spamming me with videos of those impeccable human beings and their impeccable daily routines filled with healthy morning oatmeals, designer brands shopping and Beyonce songs. Stop this madness already!
Do you guys know what I'm talking about? Have you seen perfect vloggers and bloggers? In what exactly does their perfection manifest? Do tell, I'd have more stuff to hate that way!
Now some fashion talk!
I ordered this sexy number with stripes from Choies and it's the most perfect dress for summer. It's extremely light and the fabric is one of those delicate fabrics that feel like you're wearing nothing at all. Wondered if I should wear this without a bra, cause there is a 99% chance I might unintentionally wet this dress and considering the fabric, I might join a Miss Wet T-shirt contest after that! I also didn't like how the bra strap was showing on the shoulder, so I did a lil trick and hid the strap into the sleeve and voila!
The Pac-Man brooches are handmade creations from the awesome Lara! Do check out her store and blog for more awesomeness!
Another thing I love about this dress is that it doesn't actually look that much as a dress, but more in the line of a man's shirt and since I absolutely adore wearing men's clothes (they have pockets and are comfy) I'm super pumped about this design! ^_^
I thought I'd style it nerdy and added my Pikachu backpack and tried to smile more, because my parents scolded me for not smiling enough in my photos. I usually try to look cool and seductive in my blog photos, but these efforts always result into my boyfriend asking "Why are you making those stupid faces?", the stupid face being my attempt to look pretty. So, might as well try and smile more!
So that's about it for today, it's almost noon so I'm off to eat something totally unperfect like tripe soup! It's a Bulgarian delicacy, yum!
Cold shoulder dress with stripes - c/o Choies, Pikachu Backpack - Second Hand, Mirror Glasses - H&M, Pac-Man brooches - Handmade by Lara